In the summer of 2016 while sailing solo in the Bahamas, Nature reminded about accepting life as it is rather than rejecting it for what it wasn't. And for what I may have wanted. I am again reminded of these truths. As I find myself now ashore during this late year holiday season returning home, my thoughts return and remind me about SEAsonal gift-giving as well as my offspring.
My last blog posts were devoted to Nature's flow and cleansing. They also focused on human acceptance of the forces of Nature. I wrote about the human tendency to attempt to fit Nature into a human terms. But the underlying meaning was about being reminded to adapt and accept what and how life offers Situations, no matter how challenging, offer us underlings and deities opportunities to overcome.
At sea over the years I have learned when a squall appears and approaches on the horizon it doesn't mean steer away or run for the nearest cove or port. It sometimes means approach the turmoil. Prepare to face adversity. Close the portholes, batten down the hatches, secure all sheets and halyards, ready oneself for the torrents.
This valuable lesson has happened countless times. And I have always felt stronger from facing this kind of storm than avoiding it, trying to outrun it. That only delays the inevitable. Better to address the obstacle as an opportunity.
Unfortunately, I know some adults have yet to discover or this insight. In fact, they so struggle with it that they can't understand their own discord with obstacles. They can't see the opportunity awaiting them because they are too stuck in their worldview that life owes them something better. I fell into this trap as a kid. The sad thing is that many never find their way out of their own shit.
Like all humans, my two adult children have their own personal angst. Their mutual disappointments occasionally manifest since they didn't receive their "perfect family" growing up. Of course, no family or individual is perfect. All are flawed...at times we all screw up, but most of us are doing the best we can.
Like Hades and his underworld, humans struggle to escape their own hells. Trapped in his rage, Hades is unable to care about others. He wants to punish them and himself as well. His rage however is so intense and deep-seated, it is impossible for him to see himself. It is difficult to see that he not only burns all around him but himself as well. Unfortunately, the fate of those surrounded by a wounded and resentful soul also causes families to suffer. Not seen as their own brimstone, fire or eruption, they inflame and burn those nearest and dearest to them. All suffer outages when fire rules. Yet those seething and smoldering are so aflame, they can't see their own role in their family discord. Their internal molten lava flow feels justified, but in all actuality becomes a sufferer's own private vulcano. The self-sabotage of family is frequently one's inability to view ONESELF as a self-destructive force.
Many parents imagine their adult children growing up and maturing. Ah, but "growing up" is quite a different experience from maturing. Some "kids" are so tragically attached to an ideal - that their parents still aren't who they wanted them to be. Unlike shit which flows one direction, acceptance works both ways. 'Kids" who have difficulty accepting their parents for being human, might benefit from a hard look in the bathroom mirror.
Just because someone turned 18 does not automatically make one responsible and accountable. In fact and unfortunately, many adult children never discover what acceptance, appreciation or responsibility are. I know as I was once one. And it was difficult to forgive my parents for doing the best they could.
Today my "groan" kids have yet to learn how to give. To them, life is frequently all about what they get. Their shit doesn't stink, of course, only our mind limits us. This negative emotion does not occur in Nature; this phenomenon exists only within human skulls. Hearts never anger. infallibility doesn't always register and resonate with adult children of divorce. Negative emotions still often ensnare good people. "Careful now, Henry, while I may still be technically a parent, I wouldn't want any of my impatience at their ignorance and ingratitude to spill over. I still have some maturing left. Especially when I know I have my own crap to own."
Read a related posting entitled: DAMNED DOORS.
The introductory photo at top of this blog post, taken after Mystique's jib tore during a Gulf Stream squall shot while returning from the Exumas. The photo shows the foresail wrapped around the forestay to prevent it from tearing further. Its disability reminded me to slow down to stay attentive to my return voyage to Florida in 2016.