Hello, I'm Henry.  

Welcome aboard my blog's home. 

If you come along with me, you'll become acquainted with my motley mates and faithful crew:

Experiences, Sightings, Observations, Impressions, Ideas, Reflections, Remembrances, Insights and Commentary.

They, after all, have accompanied me for as long as I can recall. Their tenure has helped me turn my tiller, fill my sails, and transport me over seas to distant lands. Maybe if you take the time to get to know them, a few will do the same for you.

Click this way and scroll along if you please...Enjoy your stay.   

Cracking a Hatch

Cracking a Hatch

All human unhappiness comes from not facing reality squarely, exactly as it is.
— Buddha
 While not my daughter; this photo reminds me mine may someday open or hatch enough to share herself and her family.

While not my daughter; this photo reminds me mine may someday open or hatch enough to share herself and her family.

As these two handles face other, they appear as if they straight-arm each other....as if to push each other away. But appearances can be deceptive. One actually reaches out for opportunities. 

 This image of Mystique's aft cabin hatch latches reminded me of my relationship with my daughter. Two figures - one reaches out while the other pushes away!

This image of Mystique's aft cabin hatch latches reminded me of my relationship with my daughter. Two figures - one reaches out while the other pushes away!

Both latches lock a tinted glass window from opposite directions while both lay beneath a deck and ceiling. Simultaneously, while both lock themselves away from each other, they hide theirselves from the view as well as the light they both could share  So both stay hidden below.

Their cover may project some transparency, but their closed and closeted relationship not only turns off their lights, but also stops all above or below from knowing each other. No one is able to peek or peer through the locked window. To loosen or unlock anything from the inside requires some strength, coordination and will power. Yet each with an ounce of willpower and a dose of effort might crack an opening and end this standoff. 

Only people decide how open or closed this window is.  Called "Hatch", this transparent square opens and closes upon wills.  Yet as patient as time, it awaits quietly for someone to turn its two latches.  Both can keep unwanted out fresh air, oxygen, light, temperature, moisture, sounds and feelings. Each Each allow light and air in and out.Closing a hatch and locking it tightens and encloses any stale, damp stuffiness bottled up inside.  Life is like that.  Keeping out undesirables also stops desirables positive forces or feelings from entering.  No hatch or person, for that matter, can be both open and closed at the same time. Each can easily open or close.  Yet no one hand can open both at once.  

These two handles appear to be squaring-off, facing each other as in combat.  While both lock their top from different directions, both also handle opening / closing differently.  But they are not opposing each other; they just look like they are. In fact, they can not open alone the window alone; they need each other to function. Whether opened or closed, the two must act in concert.

 Some before our split.

Some before our split.

Both hidden below a translucent window, theses two handles stay attached beneath a surface. Both open their hatch with barely an ounce of willpowered pressure.  Loosened or locked, it is inside which blocks our opening. While easy to handle, these latches don't hatch by themselves. In fact, any hatch only opens when those below are ready to let in fresh air and sunshine.  

Everyone is "hatched" whether they know it or not; we all emerge from either shell or body...or from a physical enclosure where we prepare to face the elements.  

 Divorce, distance, dis-ease and decisions separated all of us.

Divorce, distance, dis-ease and decisions separated all of us.

Hatches are designed to close up / lock up tight allowing nothing to leak inside inside...nothing penetrates them.  Their security is important to them.  Though a slightly-open deck hatch on a sunny, calm day has never sunk a vessel or dampened a bunk in the history of mankind. On any calm and dry day, an open hatch actually helps freshen and dry below decks.  No opening, no clean air to breath. No one breathes freely and healthily in damp and dark conditions.  

Hatchlings hide and exclude themselves from others when hatches are closed on a boat or in a relationship. Opening and closing a hatch can be risky at times, but closing is usually associated with some letting something in while opening is frequently associated with freeing and Brighton’s.  Without an opening there can be no flow or growth or birth.

 Sloane (3) and Riley (5)

Sloane (3) and Riley (5)

My writing and posting about my relationship with my daughter may be an outlet for my frustration. But it is the beginning of a book to help others who have adult children who have decided to exclude them from knowing their grandchildren.

While I have attempted to understand the discord, the reality of my relationship perplexes me. I can see my role and my mistakes, but for the life of me, I can not yet comprehend the intensity of my daughter's resentment.  So, I am not looking for sympathy or resolution: I am simply sharing what is impossible for me to resolve directly with my daughter.

 Sloane (3)  and Riley (5)

Sloane (3)  and Riley (5)

I am not attempting to air out my family laundry; that is never really very fair to do in a public manner. For that, I am truly sorry.  My intent is to share this with other parents and grandparents who have suffered a daughter closing her hatch. Maybe some day, she will forgive me for making mistakes. 

I have been unable to experience anything resembling and approaching a mutually respectful conversation with my daughter for over 15 years.  So my words here are more comfort for me than anyone else. Or maybe those who have read this, may relate or find themselves more fortunate for having escaped the subtle slights, stings, arrows and and not-so-subtle slashes of a resentful and righteous offspring.

Some hatches offer a breathtaking view and an opportunity to see what is outside, but some hatches hinder transparency.  Many today have tinted glass to keep the sun's UV rays out while also ensuring more privacy. Seeing out is often easier than seeing inside. While viewing inside a hatch can be difficult until the crew inside unlatches and opens up.  It is so easy to turn the handles to open and unlock.  But opening is often more difficult than shutting up. 

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Open? Still Closed? Half-way or all the way now? Only a crack? Maybe only a tease? Hope remains eternal. Time will tell.  I can barely see the sky turning blue.... so some hopeful hue appearing overhead. 

A Stolen Wallet?

A Stolen Wallet?

Removed from Ourselves

Removed from Ourselves